Politics · Satire
Maricopa County Sends 3,126 Ballots Six Days Early, Discovers Democracy Has Express Shipping
The ballots went to the correct voters and remain valid; the calendar has been placed on administrative leave.
Track the package →
Politics
Power, but sticky
01Democracy Desk
Nation Once Again Asked to Place Enormous Faith in Tiny Ovals Filled With Black Ink
Officials confirm democracy remains compatible with No. 2 pencils.
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02Washington
Politician Announces Bold New Position Moments After Pollster Explains It
The spontaneous conviction was focus-grouped across six battleground states.
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03Analysis-ish
Congressional Hearing Discovers Volume Is Still the Most Bipartisan Policy
Both parties agreed to continue interrupting each other with tremendous integrity.
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Culture
Everything Is Content Now. Even This Sentence Is Performing.
Pink Slime tracks the rituals, panic cycles and extremely normal behavior of a species that invented push notifications and then complained about them.
Read article →“We came to Earth legally. The reporting is another matter.”
Entertainment
Important people pretending
Music · New Artist Review
Jax Proof Passes the CAPTCHA and Fails Society on “Verified Human”
The new rapper delivers a hard-hitting identity check for anyone who has clicked twelve traffic lights while a bot handled their unemployment claim.
Hear the single and read the review →“The robots got customer service. Humanity got the crosswalk quiz.”
Technology
The machines are reading this
Artificial Intelligence Promises to Eliminate Busywork, Generates 47 New Meetings to Discuss Implementation
Productivity surged briefly before everyone was added to a Slack channel.
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